Stigma
by lark lavroc
Summary: Blood is shed in Heaven and Chaos has been unleashed.


DISCLAIMER: No, I haven't managed to own any of the fandoms I've written in thus far, so Saiyuki is not mines sadly. No profit, this is for fun yadda, yadda, yadda.   

**Author's Notes:** Just another random, speculative Gaiden one-shot. Nothing new. I'm not far into Gaiden yet so I doubt this is even remotely spoiler-ish. A thank you to **Moe** for the beta, and for introducing me to the wonderful, addictive world of Saiyuki. 

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_What is blood, Konzen? _ __

_What is death, Konzen? Can I eat it?_

Goku wakes up, head still feeling fuzzy and his sight nothing much more than a big blur. He raises both his hands to rub his golden, heretic eyes, and wishes he didn't feel so hot, so flushed and shaky. Sadness, the most foreign emotion Goku has ever felt, enters and it is all Goku can do to stop himself from whirling in confusion. Why? Why did it have to happen? Why can't Nataku and him just be friends? Why does it have to be so hard?

Goku has so many unanswered questions; too many Konzen would say and then try to answer Goku's queries in his usually blunt, annoyed way. Sometimes Goku understands, and at other times he remains baffled by logic he doesn't get. When that happened, Konzen would only sigh and tell him to forget it; an order Goku was glad to follow if only because he was spared a whack from The Deadly Fan. 

As Konzen drifts more and more into his thoughts, Goku realizes with a sudden hitch of discomfort and an uneasy heart that he is alone in the deathly silent room. No Konzen, no Ken-nichan and no Ten-chan. The quiet stifles Goku. He can literally see the walls enclosing around him in an unescapable prison, not granting any reprieve in its quest for punishment. Punishment for what, Goku wants to ask Them, but he is distracted by the tiny vibrations of alarm, fear and death. A sense of _something _coming together to form a Great Pattern even as it breaks apart.

Goku panics a bit after he shakes away that lost piece of knowledge and shakily gets up to his feet. He feels an urgency he doesn't recognise and has the distinct idea that he needs to find Konzen. _Now_. Before it's too late.

He runs now. Runs as quick as he is able to as the chains gripping his wrist and ankles make clanking sounds against polished marble floors. The loud echoes go unheard and all Goku is aware of is his need to find Konzen. _Now_.

.......

He's not certain why he thinks this is where Konzen is. He just knows it. He knows Konzen is there and Ten-chan too. Ken-nichan too because wherever Ten-chan was, Ken-niichan would be somewhere close by. He hesitates though, even as he wonders why. Everyone's in there, and hadn't he wanted to find Konzen? But something is whispering inside of him, telling him that if he opens the big, elegant doors, he will find Bad Things. And this is enough to make him wary in a way he never has been.

But Konzen's in there, he argues, and then shutters away that slip of voice in a decisive move. He feels an ache in response, and then that fleeting sense of pieces being pushed together.

_What is blood, Konzen?_

Red. Thick red stains everywhere, and encircled within the darkest trails, a tumble of bodies lies at its centre. He ignores everything else; the shocked men standing around in stunned silence, the stillness and tension curling in the air, the smooth shift of smouldering anger. Goku feels the ache worsen, feels the slight tremble and shiver slither down his spine. He knows what that red is. Konzen told him.

He shudders, a keening wail waiting to erupt if he so much as let his control slip, but he manages to hold it in. Not true. Can't be because Konzen said so. And Konzen never lied.

A flicker of light, a reflection from familiar glasses and Goku sees the faces beneath the red.

Ten-chan.

He rushes forward, hands reaching for that slim body clothed in white-red, and meets nothing. Tugging at heavy shoulders and looking into dull green eyes, Goku calls out, "Ten-chan! Ten-chan! Wake up! Come on! Wake up! You have to wake up! Please..."

A muffled thud responds and Goku expectantly stares at Ten-chan. Only, Ten-chan does nothing. He stays unmoving as Goku turns his head around in confusion and Goku doesn't find out why until he sees the silver-red sword just under Ten-chan's hand.

Disappointment is as sharp as Ten-chan's sword but Goku doesn't give up. He turns away from Ten-chan and turns to Ken-niichan who lay just a little bit away. Grasping at slippery black leather, Goku tries again. "Ken-niichan! Ken-niichan! You have to wake up! Ten-chan won't wake up so you have to wake up and make him! Come on, Ken-niichan! You can't stay like this all day...you have to wake up..."

Ken-niichan stays still and unlistening, and Goku is in near despair. He lets his hands slide away from Ken-niichan, eyes widening when he sees the red all over his skin. He quickly pushes himself away, wanting nothing more than to wash away all the blood.

In his hast, he nearly trips over the Mean Man who tried to hurt Ten-chan before, and a loud clang results. Surprised, Goku turns back to the Mean Man and finds the reason why. A stained sword had fallen from his limp grasp and as it fought against Goku's chains, their battle cries had echoed in harmony. Goku moves closer as he catches the barest flash of white among all the red and grey, and sees a tiny piece of cloth; its simple colour strangely familiar as he recalls the scent of cigarette smoke and a patient, gentle voice.

_What is death, Konzen? Can I eat it?_

Before he can react, gold, like the sun catches his attention and he whirls around in dread and hope.

Konzen isn't covered in red. In fact, Konzen looks like he always does, if Goku chooses to ignore unblinking violet eyes. He feels the dread overwhelm the hope, and the ache turn into hot pain.

He walks as if time has stopped, as if by will alone he can make everything Not Happen. But it's not as simple as that no matter how much Goku wishes it so, and when Goku reaches the sleeping golden form, his dying sun, he can't help the strangled cry arching from his throat. Nor can he stop the building fury thrashing within his veins and turning him into nothing but blind rage and destructive Chaos.

The circlet on top of his head shatters and falls like a rain of fine sand. 

New eyes relish the fear that is apparent on scared, shocked faces and flicker with a feral glint. A new presence watches the remaining soldiers with a predatory gleam, and a growing hunger that wanted satisfaction _now_. So he reaches for it with sharp claws because he _can_, and he must, and blood drips, slides, splatters on the floor, on his form and on the white walls.

He laughs at the sound of their pained cries. He grins when more blood flows. Then he stops when there are no more for him to feast on. A pity, he thinks, as he wipes the blood on his face with his hand and licks it clean.

He turns to face the intruder, surprise and anger warring as chains grip his wrist and tighten around his ankles. He growls, and tries to pull away, but his strength comes up short as She summons Her true power, gold and grey growing within Her hands.

Darkness comes unwillingly, a weight falls on top of his head, chains tighten and he knows the bars are imprisoning him, so he escapes and lets his form fall against the blood-smeared floor.

Goku sleeps. He doesn't want to wake up because when he does, he knows he will be alone and so very cold. The sun has gone, and so has his light.            

_Konzen, will you die?_

_Don't be stupid. Gods don't die. _

_Why?_

_Because we can't. Now stop asking me so many stupid questions._

_Konzen? _

_What?_

_I'm glad you can't die. _

   


End file.
